


Dean's Diary Returns

by abitofarockyroad



Series: The Adventures of Dean's Diary [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:45:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abitofarockyroad/pseuds/abitofarockyroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working together the reader and Cas manage to get hold of Dean's diary again, much to his displeasure. However things this time take an interesting turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean's Diary Returns

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy the second instalment. Chances are there will be more xD - Bella

“I GOT IT! ITS MINE ITS MINE. CAS NOW!” You scream as you sprint out of Dean’s room clutching a book to your chest. As you sprint into the main room Cas steps out in front of Dean, causing Dean to run into him and bounce back, landing on the floor. Looking back and seeing dean sprawled on the floor you stop and laugh, tears running down your cheeks. It doesn’t last. He jumps up and pushes past cas, again running at you. You continue again, heading for your room. As you run past Sam’s room, he steps out not realising what was happening and looking incredibly shocked as dean barrels into him.

“THANKS SAMMY!” You shout as you raise the book above your head triumphantly and skip into your room, slamming the door behind you and locking it.

“(y/n) I swear if you don’t open this door right now I will break it down.” You hear Dean growl from the other side of your door. Ignoring him, you continue to flick through the diary, taking photos of all the pages of the diary. Laughing out loud at the occasional passage you read you continue, ignoring the banging coming from your door. Suddenly it goes silent. You chuckle when you hear the sound of Dean picking the lock of your door. “Ah HA!” he exclaims triumphantly, clearly putting his whole body weight against the door as it unlocks and gasping as he is stopped from opening it. “Son of a bitch…” you hear him mutter as he notices the door chain you had put in. “I will get bolt cutters (y/n). Open this bastard door for fucks sake.”

“I’m sorry Dean darling, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you caressing Cas’s hair which smells like beeswax and is as soft as velvet.” You say, reading a line from the diary and altering it some-what.

“I never said that.” Dean grumbles, half to you and half to Sam who you can hear laughing hysterically from outside.

“Oh Dean honey. You really need to be more careful with your diary. I mean your hiding place was terrible. Under your pillow is such a 13 year old girls hiding place.” You say with a chuckle.

“Well I was kind of distracted when I walked in so I didn’t pay much notice.” He says through the door. You look over and see his hand trying desperately to unhook the chain and gain access to your room.

“Whatever distracted you so much darling?” You ask politely.

“You were lying on my bed with no fucking top on.” Dean shouts, starting Sam laughing hysterically again.

“All part of the plan. It worked didn’t it?” You say, snapping a photo of the final page with writing on. You take your phone and remove the memory card with all the photos on. Sliding it into your bra, you put your phone on your dresser and jump onto your bed with the diary just as the bolt cutters snap the chain and Dean barges into the room. He strides across the room in 3 steps and snatches the diary out of your hands. Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, he glances around the room and, spotting your phone, grabs that too.

“I will never trust again.” Dean says, dramatically holding his head high and strutting out of your room.

“Drama queen!” You shout after him, laughing to yourself as you grab your laptop and slot the memory card in and open it. Clicking through the photos you struggle to contain your laughter. Hearing footsteps you slam your laptop shut and attempt to act casual in case Dean had returned. You sigh with relief when Cas sticks his head round the door.

“Did it work?” He asks, walking into the room and sitting next to you on your bed.

“Oh yeah. This is gunna be great.” You say, opening the laptop again and letting Cas read over your shoulder.

"I still don’t understand what this means." Cas says hesitantly, his eyes squinting at your screen.

"Which bit?" You ask.

"What is the relevance of the number 69?" He asks, pointing at the page where Dean had obviously had 69 on his mind considering the page was filled with multiple illustrations of the same number.

"It’s urmm…well…it’s…" You say, trying to find the right words to explain 69. "Maybe you should ask Sam." You say, pulling your laptop closer to you. "SAM!" you shout, not bothering to get up considering his room was next to yours.

"WHAT?" He shouts through the wall.

"COME HITHER WENCH"

"Please stop calling me wench." Sam grumbles as he walks into your room.

"Never. It is a fitting name. It matches your luxurious flowing locks." you say absentmindedly as you continue reading the diary from your laptop.

"What did you want anyway?" Sam asks.

"Cas has a question."

"Yeah?" Sam asks, turning to Cas.

"What is the relevance of the number 69?" Cas asks. Sam can’t help but to chuckle at your struggle not to laugh and Cas’s completely straight face.

"You know what I don’t care anymore. I’ve had enough of this shit to last a life time. I’m not even going to try and be gentle anymore." Sam says.

"Oh fun. I wanna be a part of this." you say, sitting up straight and waiting eagerly.

"Cas its a sex position."

"Position? Like a rank, or a job? General?" He asks.

"No. A physical position you have sex in." Sam clarifies.

"Basically one person lies on the bed and the other lies on top but the other way round." You explain, attempting to demonstrate with your hands.

"I still don’t understand…" Cas says. You sigh.

"Sam lie on the bed." You say, pointing at the bed as you close your laptop and put it on the floor. After standing up you turn and watch Sam glance between you, Cas and the bed.

"Pardon?"

"Just lie on the god damn bed wench." you repeat.

"Stop calling me wench" Sam grumbles, slowly lying down on the bed. Moving quickly before he can protest you jump on top of Sam, making him groan as the weight of you suddenly presses on him without warning.

"You see?" You ask, turning to look at Cas.

"Oh so if Sam is the 6, you and the 9 because they’re the same except flipped. It slightly resembles the position you are in now. Correct?" He asks, looking rather pleased at having worked it out.

"What the fuck is going on??" You hear from the doorway.

"Me and Sam are 69ing." You answer without hesitation. On spotting Dean, Sam jumps off the bed. Unfortunately ,because you were on top of him at the time, you were thrown off the bed (mainly because of the sheer size of Sam and the speed of which he stood) towards Dean. Before you hit the floor he runs forward and catches you in his arms. You place the back of your hand against your forehead and pretend to swoon.

"My savour. Please take my ‘kercheif as a token of my gratitude brave knight." you say breathlessly, pulling a tissue out of your pocket and waving it in Dean’s face. He promptly drops you.

"You’re such a piss take. Why were you lying on top of Sammy?" He asks.

"Well that was just rude. Rude rude rude. A true knight would never drop a maiden on her rear. TREASON! TREASON!" You start shouting, running around the room in circles.

"What the fuck are you on about?" Dean asks.

"TREASON! TREASON! TREASON!" you continue, waving your arms around in the air to make more of a point. Dean soon shakes his head in despair and backs out of the room. Once he had left you shut the door and stop your declarations of treason. "Well that got rid of him."

"What the hell was in your coffee this morning?" Sam asks, staring at you warily as if you might attack him. Which, in your mind, was certainly possible.

"I had one coffee this morning and seven marijuana’s." You say. You hadn’t smoked anything but considering you had the gullible gang locked in your room you took advantage. "Seven marijuananananananas" you say. Suddenly, you stop and stare at the ceiling. Whilst staring you begin to rotate slowly on the spot whispering ‘seven’ repeatedly under your breath.

"You’re high?!" Sam gasps

"Not even remotely. You’re as gullible as Cas though by the way." You say, stopping the rotation to grin at Sam.

"I am not gullible." Cas protests. You look above his head in mock surprise.

"Cas…someone wrote gullible on the ceiling…how bizarre." you say pointing then laughing when he cranes his neck to try and see.

"Oldest trick in the book Cas." Sam sighs.

“But back to the point. The diary.” You say, grabbing your laptop. You had yet to decide exactly what you were going to do with the photos. You switch on the printer you had picked up in a charity shop and began printing the pages. Cas grabbed a few to look at while you read.

“I’m out.” Sam says, standing and holding his hands above his head. “I don’t need the hassle.”

“WENCH!” You shout. “how dareth thou leaveth this cubiculo wench! returneth immediately and doeth as thou is being paid to doeth. s’rveth this gentle family with gratitude as thy ancest’rs did ”re thou.”

“What the fuck are you on about…” Sam asks as he leaves.

“Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?”

“What?”

“Do you quarrel, sir?”

“Stop quoting Shakespeare. I’m leaving.” Sam says, shutting the door behind him.

“THOU PRIBBLING FAT-KIDNEYED PUMPION!” You shout through the door.

“What does that mean?” Cas asks curiously.

“No clue.” You say, sitting back on your bed and grabbing the pages you’ve printed.

“What does this mean?” Cas asks, pointing at a line on the page.

“You know what Cas. I think we should go and ask Dean. I’m not sure what that means either.” You say with a smirk, following Cas closely as he stands up and walks out of your room towards Deans. When he arrives he knocks on the door and waits, reading more of the diary with a mild look of confusion slowly spreading across his face. After a couple of seconds Dean opens the door, fear springing into his eyes when he sees you both standing there expectantly.

“Dean what are nipple clamps?”

"Why the fuck…" Dean starts, but is quickly interrupted as Cas continues.

"It says that I put nipple clamps on you and although it hurt like a bitch it was fun in a kinky sort of way…Dean was I torturing you?" Cas asks, genuine concern etched into his face.

"Firstly it was a dream." Dean starts. "Secondly, give that here." He then snatches the page and rips it to pieces. "Thirdly, leave me the fuck alone." Cas takes this to heart and begins walking away, Dean watching him go. As he goes to close his door, you wait until Cas is out of earshot and you speak up.

"Nipple clamps huh? You kinky son of a bitch." You say with a grin. Dean pauses and winks at you. "You’re such a sub." You say.

"Is that something you’d like?" He asks, leaning against his door frame and (possibly subconsciously but knowing Dean it was completely intentional in order to just show off) flexing his arm muscles.

"Well if I’m honest I’d rather you put the nipple clamps on me." you reply, mimicking Deans wink and seductively strutting into his room.

"How do I know this isn’t another trick…" He asks suspiciously as you perch yourself on the end of his bed.

"Oh honey, would I joke about this?" You say, pulling the pair of handcuffs you had grabbed earlier out of your back pocket and beckoning Dean with them. He moves towards you eagerly, his eyes widening as you stand up and push him onto the bed, straddling his body and slowly leaning across him to handcuff his hands to the bed. You kiss him briefly on the lips and the neck, your hands trailing down his body. Sitting up, you look down at Dean, enjoying the power you had over him.

"Right." You say, pulling the printed pages out of your pocket and getting comfortable sitting straddled on Dean.

"Oh for fucks sake (y/n)! Seriously?!" He shouts, struggling against the handcuffs and trying to push you off him using his legs. You wiggle around a bit but soon get bored.

"Don’t make me tie you up properly sub." You threaten, wagging your finger in a slightly patronising fashion. In response Dean brings his knees up to whack you in the back. You shoot forwards onto his chest, your face very close to his.

"Untie me now and I promise not to hurt you when I’m free." Dean whispers, kissing your neck at the same time.

"Oh I want you to hurt me." You reply with a wink. "let me go and get the key." you dismount and walk out of the door, purposefully over-enthusiastically swaying your hips as you move. As soon as you’re out of sight you sprint to Sam’s room and run in without knocking.

"Sam! Quick! I need your help! this is a matter of LIFE OR DEATH HERE!!" you shout at him.

"What?! what’s the problem??" He asks urgently, standing and watching towards you.

"Where’s the pope?" You ask.

"You ran in here screaming, to ask about the pope…" He says, his fingertips gently massaging his temples.

"Did I say Pope?" You question, pausing and thinking back to a few seconds ago.

"Yes…you asked where the pope was…" he says. "The Vatican city probably."

"Well I’m sure he’s free to ROME wherever he pleases. Heh. Get it?" You say with a giggle, rather pleased at your pun. Sam just stares at you, a mixture of mild displeasure, annoyance and amusement flashing across his face "well I meant to say rope but I’m sure the pope will appreciate the fact we thought of him." you say, shrugging.

"Rope?" he questions, sitting back down with a sigh to look at you, clearly very confused.

"Yeah you know. Jumbo string. Slightly resembles a snake. A nice beige colour." You say, ignoring Sam’s eye roll. "I bet you were expecting some kind of joke huh?" You say as Sam pulls the rope out of his bag and hands it to you. "Well I’m a frayed knot." You say, knotting the end of the rope and holding it in front of his face.

"Afraid not?" Sam questions.

"Frayed knot…seriously wench get with it. Nobody appreciates my humour these days." you say with a sigh, collecting up the rope.

"Why do you need rope anyway?" He asks warily.

"Thats for me to know and for you to find out later after I’ve taken photos." You say, skipping out of the room, waving the rope behind you. You run back to your room and find Dean still on your bed, but in the process of picking the locks on the handcuffs.

"Oh I don’t think so buddy." you say, grabbing the pin he was using. You grab the pieces of rope and tie both of his feet to the bottom of his bed.

"Can’t kick me anymore can ya, you sub?" You say triumphantly. You straddle him again and wiggle around getting comfortable. "Now back to the diary." You begin, but stop. You slowly look down at Dean, whose face is flushing red. "Well Dean. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just really excited right now?" You ask, winking at him and laughing at his disgruntlement. "I don’t blame you." You say, dramatically flicking your hair over your shoulder. "I am pretty incredible. But my amazingness aside let’s read shall we?"

"Get off me! SAMMY! SAMMY HELP!" Dean starts yelling. You sit and wait, listening to Sam’s footsteps.

"What’s wrong?" Sam asks, running into Deans room with his gun raised, dropping it after scanning the room.

"Good morrow wench. Wouldst thou care to join us?" You ask with a grin.

"Dean you really need to stop falling for her tricks mate." Sam says simply before starting to walk out.

"Sammy don’t fucking leave. Untie me!" Dean shouts, writhing around on the bed trying to throw you off him again.

"Sorry, knowing what she is capable of I’m more scared of her than you." Sam says pointing at you.

"Awwh you’re so sweet wench. I’ll put a bonus in your pay this week. You can buy yourself something pretty." You say with a grin. Sam sighs and walks out of Deans room. "Just me and you again. Now where were we…ah yes. Penis enlargement."

"Pardon?" Dean says, trying desperately to see what was on the page you were reading.

"There are quite a few pages on this….has Crowley been giving you ideas sub? Do you want a bigger willy?" You ask with a grin.

"Why do you keep calling me sub?" Dean asks, ignoring everything else you said.

"Wench had a nickname, I figured you would feel left out if you didn’t have one. Ooh diagrams!" You say as you flip the page over and see many crudely drawn pictures of various penises. You look at them each in turn. "This one looks like yours." You say, picking one and pointing. "This one is Cas." You point at another. Before you can say more, Cas appears in the doorway.

“I heard my name.” He says simply, looking mildly confused as to what he saw in front of him.

“We were discussing your penis.” You explain, climbing off Dean. Cas begins to stutter, going red in the face. “Oh save it wings. Now I need you to watch Dean while I go do something.” You say, patting Cas on the shoulder and strolling out of the room.

You aren’t gone long, only running to your room to get your spare phone to snap a few photos of Dean. When you return however you get a bit of a shock. You walk in and see Cas straddling Dean, the pair of them making out furiously. You watch for a couple of seconds in a state of shock, not entirely sure what to say or make of the situation. Then you clear your throat. Cas jumps as if he’s been caught doing something terrible, but when he breaks away from Dean and jumps off the bed, the look of pride and satisfaction on Deans face is immense. Cas glances between you and Dean a few times, then without a word scurries out of the door.

“And what was that?” You ask, hands on your hips, a smirk playing on your face.

“That was me being awesome. He’s a pretty good kisser. You should try it sometime.” Dean says simply. Still in shock you just shake your head and laugh in disbelief. You walk over to him and untie him from the bed. He rubs his wrists gently where the handcuffs had dug into his skin.

“Have you got a hickey?!” You ask in shock, staring at Dean’s neck. “Damn angel boy works fast…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys. For more of our stuff check out our tumblr abitofarockyroad@tumblr.com :)


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